this morning

as I walk up the neighborhood hill the crunching of my studded running shoes on the icy road reverberates off the quiet unlit houses. it's relatively early and the main cross street is empty. I begin to run down the roadside path and an unfamiliar 'thump thump thump' joins in with the 'crunch crunch crunch' underfoot. I figure out it's coming from the pack on my back that contains the necessities for work: clean clothes and a laptop. could be the homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies baked with love by my wife. probably not them though, just thinking about my empty stomach. mild pain emanates from my right knee. I ignore it as that pain is a usual companion, but there is something else slowing me down: my heavy lungs. the pressure within them makes my breath labored and short. I don't know if I'll make it the 4 miles to work; I don't know if I'll make it to the corner. I stop. the vapor from my breath rises up through the 20˚ air, lit intermittently by the flashing LEDs on my headlamp. looking at my watch I realize it's only been 8 minutes since I left the house. turning around in defeat I head back for the warmth of home. 6 minutes later a shower and a hot tea ease my breathing. I'll run to work another day.